I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
