I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
