so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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