did you get engaged???
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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