Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
