Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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