dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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