So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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