when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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