God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize