i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Randomize
