I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
