What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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