this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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