I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
