I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize