The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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