Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
