i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
