I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I believe in your delicious
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize