it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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