Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
