It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
pray to the hookup gods
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
