yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
