Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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(530): View more from California

Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds

(1-530): View more from California

Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.

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(303): View more from Colorado

wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.

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(801): View more from Utah

my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.

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