He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think this conversation is over.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles