it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."