I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say