yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?