Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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  (914): she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice. http://tfl.nu/tgnz
  Replies (12) Good night (682) Bad night (3986)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt

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  (253): Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt http://tfl.nu/m43s
  Replies (32) Good night (1216) Bad night (5727)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.

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  (908): i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie. http://tfl.nu/9olo
  Replies (16) Good night (4602) Bad night (882)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.

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  (925): I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder. http://tfl.nu/ta5a
  Replies (31) Good night (4676) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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  (781): My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss http://tfl.nu/yqt0
  Replies (17) Good night (8767) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.

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  (713): Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success. http://tfl.nu/wlhs
  Replies (9) Good night (5513) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

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  (614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq
  Replies (12) Good night (1148) Bad night (2144)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
  Replies (18) Good night (596) Bad night (3149)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.

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  (410): I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid. http://tfl.nu/ggrs
  Replies (4) Good night (1356) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.

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  (707): He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed. http://tfl.nu/sv05
  Replies (5) Good night (801) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship

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  (813): I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship http://tfl.nu/ql51
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...

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  (607): I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street... http://tfl.nu/0y14
  Replies (11) Good night (1547) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.

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  (501): Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick. http://tfl.nu/s37k
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer

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  (425): My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/p8ct
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good

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  (651): Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good http://tfl.nu/p2ni
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (405)

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