Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.