that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
