You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
