I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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