He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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