she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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