Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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