So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
