I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
