You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
