you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
