he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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