He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
