i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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