im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
