he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
