your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize