My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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