it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize