found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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