So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
