Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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