Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
