remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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