If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
