somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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