I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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