I'm eating all of the evidence.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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