awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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