He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
