your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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