She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
